this awful island

so how'd we ever get on this awful island?

the ship has set sail, and we were busy tending to our wounds.

i keep cutting chunks out of my soul. (an old hunting knife i got from my dad as a kid, I actually stole it out of his drawer before he had a chance to give it to me. he wasn't angry. just happy i liked it. i just wanted to be tough, i never noticed how beautiful it was till much later. now it looks old, worn, mistreated.)

however, I feed the pieces to her, while she sleeps.

i hide sedatives deep in the tissue

she swallows them whole.

the sun peaks out at us from behind storms

and of coarse when it rains it pours,

and when she sleeps she snores, and

i play a very convincing victim.

but i'm the only villain left for miles,

i keep low and move even slower.

i could choke the life out of her,

and take back my sanity,

but i love the control she has over me.

we could re-populate this mother fucker you know?

except she is not interested in creating anything,

only deconstructing,

my defenses, my guard.

I am grateful though.

I can taste her skin in my sleep

so who needs sheep?

she is fucking beautiful.

not like a movie star,

but more like a summer morning,

when the sprinklers are firing, and the air is good.

the smell of the wet sidewalk...

so i fight the bottle with all this,

and fill my lungs with gods breath.

the glass is cold on my lips, so is the sea breeze.

the world moves slow while i pretend not to feel my days winding down

between my fingers.

love is for the birds.

I'm talkin vultures.

none

Dear Addiction,

Farewell.

All is well.

All is stale,

All will fail.

The man in the suit was a small man.

A ghost in a sea full of giants..

Yours truly.

You never knew me.

It still pushes through me.

fluidly.

3

my son is really growing up

his speech is broken and funny

it's remarkable how much love can fit inside my skin

i'm forced to put him to bed and push on my way

to tell stories

in blood and ink

fairy-tales that only run skin deep

hopefully he sees my duty to these lost souls

begging for new beginnings

begging for closure or for love to last

just this once....

I am only an instrument of emotion

a slave

but this is my role regardless

time falls with a crash all around me

my friends are no where to be seen

and i refuse to admit love

her brown hair tickling my face

it's only a matter of time

wrecked time without insurance

i can't give what i don't have

but i move on because my son shines from inside me

and fills me with inspiration

so i can lead the broken

the weary

big date, get some new shoes

the snow has an appointment with this salty city

tuesday afternoon

it's thursday night

late

he broke bread

and butter

between the sentences and

his fingers

he could feel the betrayal in the air

the beginning of an end

she's got a date...

with the devil.

them shits aint real

in the morning it's hard to tighten my thoughts.

i spent last night in a flood of lights and club bass.

drinking heat and sweating over dancing girls.

baiting them out with singles and

(what i thought) warm inviting looks.

i can take you out of here.

fill your pockets and heart.

(my stomach hates me.wont stop cramping up.)

but she has no heart, just a hole in her nose.

and now enough dollars for a piece of granite exactly the same size.

just a robot in need of some grease.

gotta keep those joints from squiling ya know?

so i took the night off.

and the city slept fine.

i ended up staring at the ceiling and worrying.

about everyone else but her.

what a hero.